Minnesota’s official state column?

This column appeared in the Feb. 8, 2008 edition of the Rosemount Town Pages.

So, I’m driving to work the other day and I’m listening to NPR and
they’re airing a story about somebody trying to get something or other
named the official state whatsit of Maryland.
I’ll admit I really wasn’t paying close attention. And even though
later review has revealed it was walking Marylanders were trying to
have enshrined as the state’s official exercise I still can’t say I
care too much.
What caught my attention, though, came at the end of the story. That’s
when the reporter revealed some in the state opposed granting walking
state symbol status because they feel Maryland has too many such
symbols, including blue crabs (official state crustacean), the shell of
an extinct snail (official state fossil shell) and jousting (official
state sport).
This revelation raised two interesting points. One, the fossil shell of
the cucuella ginanta really got a raw deal. And, two, apparently the
sporting scene in Maryland has yet to advance past the middle ages.
Which, I guess, explains University of Maryland basketball.
It got me thinking, though. I know the ladyslipper is Minnesota’s state
flower, wild rice is the state grain and the loon is the state bird
(unless you believe the novelty t-shirts, in which case it’s the
comically oversized mosquito). But are there other symbols I should
know about? Was I somehow living in ignorance of the fact my home state
for some reason identifies its sporting scene with jai alai?
Apparently I wasn’t. Minnesota’s list of state symbols is almost
disappointingly short and predictable. The state fish is the walleye.
The state gem is the Lake Superior Agate. The state tree is the Norway
pine.
Yawn. There wasn’t an archaic sporting practice or a long-dead mollusk
anywhere to be found. California has a state fife and drum band,
Michigan has a state reptile and all we’ve got is a state drink.
It’s milk, which, I suppose, goes really well with our state muffin
(blueberry). If only we could get our legislators to designate Nesquick
mix our state powder I could have myself an official Minnesota
chocolate milk.
It’s not until you get to the list of our rejected state symbols that
things start to get interesting. I’m not sure whether the fact we have
on multiple occasions rejected efforts to name the leopard frog our
state amphibian means we have better things to do than other states or
if it just means our legislators really can’t get anything done.
It turns out there’s a long list of rejected state symbols. Most
recently, there was legislation introduced in 2007 that would have made
the tilt-a-whirl our state ride. A companion bill that would have made
queasiness our official state of being didn’t go anywhere.
The competition for state mammal status has been heated over the years.
There have been eight failed attempts to give that status to the white
tailed deer and six attempts to give it to the eastern timber wolf. You
have to figure the performance of our state’s NBA franchise isn’t
helping that animal’s chances.
There were competing bills in 1987 to designate a state beer. I cannot
confirm that supporters of either Schell’s Deer Brand beer or Cold
Spring beer missed the votes in question because they were too hung
over to get out of bed that day.
There has been legislation to name an official state fossil (the giant
beaver), state folk dance (square dance) and state mineral (iron ore).
HF970 tried to introduce a state soup in 1998 (wild rice) and in both
1998 and 1999 there were attempts to name a state reptile (the
blandings turtle).
Maybe most unsettling, though, is HF970, which Senator Jack Davies
introduced in 1977 in an attempt to have the leech named Minnesota’s
state parasite.
I mean, everyone knows that should be the lawyer.

Nathan Hansen,
Editor